Mariel Cornell

First off let me start off by thanking all the Kristin’s involved so far for having two “I’s” in their name. It’s making my guesses look really good.

On to the merchandise!

Kristin (Davis) Grice has a littun’ of her own so this present comes with some recent mothering experience. This is a baby einstein play mat with a suspended mobile thingee-majiggy. The hanging pictures of single subjects and bright colors offer lots of pre-frontal cortex and visual cortex stimulation responses which can make kids crazy smart. Since there are suspended objects too there’s probably even some inferior temporal gyrus activity which means that baby going to have some mad ball-handling skills. We won’t have to worry about paying for college because scouting violations by big time universities will take care of all that.

I wish I didn’t buy into this marketing scheme that Baby Einstein has developed but, boy oh boy there stuff works. They need an infomercial with some dumb babies that watch their videos and use their toys for a week and then get smarter and happier. They just need to find some guy with a British/Australian accent to make the pitch - unfortunately I can’t imagine there are any of those left unemployed.
Thanks Kristin.